


Haruhi's Guilty Pleasure

by abrasivepersonalitytendersoul



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Akihabara, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Host Club Shenangigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 04:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16339517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abrasivepersonalitytendersoul/pseuds/abrasivepersonalitytendersoul
Summary: Turning in her seat, Haruhi looked at him, mouth open to see he was taking her Pokémon pencil bag, Pokémon folder, and Pokémon tissue pack, the recording of her calling her friend “Hikachu” playing in the silence that followed.“You weren't supposed to find out,” Haruhi said dejectedly.





	Haruhi's Guilty Pleasure

**Author's Note:**

> I have a headcanon that Haruhi loves Pokemón and watched it with her mom when she was young. Knowing her, she has probably called Hikaru 'Hikachu' in her head and has had to be conscious of not saying it out loud.
> 
> So that's how this happened.

The chiming of the clock tower on the school grounds signaled the end of the host club activities for the day. The guests had finished trickling out and the group, well, Haruhi at least, was cleaning the music room. Honey sat at a table, happily munching away on the last of the cakes and treats while Mori silently sipped his tea. Kyoya scribbled away in his notebook about gods only knew what. Tamaki followed Haruhi around like a pitiful puppy and whining about how they haven't had any quality father-daughter time. The twins were whispering to each other in their made up language, which could only mean mischief was afoot.

That mischief was realized when Haruhi’s phone started ringing from inside her bag. She quickly walked over to where it lay near the changing area, but the twins beat her to it. Kaoru picked up the bag and tossed it to Hikaru who scaled a coffee table.

“Give it back, Hikachu!” Haruhi yelled. She immediately clasped her hand over her mouth.

The room went silent. Mori’s teacup audibly clinked against the saucer and Honey bit his tongue. Kyoya stopped writing and Tamaki froze in his place. Kaoru and Hikaru looked at each other and smiled a knowing smile. 

“Hikachu? I didn’t realize we had pet names for each other, Haruki?”

“We don't. I don't know what you heard, but it was most certainly not a pet name.”

“We could always go back and listen,” Kyoya interjected. His smirk barely evident as he lifted a USB stick from the table. 

“YOU'VE BEEN RECORDING AND DIDN'T THINK TO TELL US?!” Haruhi screeched, lunging at her senpai only to be restrained by the twin tormentors.

“Is there perhaps something you don't want exposed?” Kyoya countered.

“It's not that! It's just a major invasion of privacy and I know you get off on having even a shred of power over someone, but you've got to admit, this is a bit excessive, right?” 

“So you're admitting that the playback would give us more power over you?” Kaoru asked incredulously underlied by sarcasm.

Kyoya retrieved his laptop from his backpack, turned it on, and stuck the device in a port. 

“As compared to the social, financial, and educational power we already have over you? At this point, what's one more?” Kaoru asked pointedly as he moved Haruhi to the seat across the table from Kyoya as he opened the file corresponding to the listening device. 

“Please, senpai-” she started.

“Well look what we have here!” Hikaru exclaimed.

Turning in her seat, Haruhi looked at him, mouth open to see he was taking her Pokémon pencil bag, Pokémon folder, and Pokémon tissue pack, the recording of her calling her friend “Hikachu” playing in the silence that followed.

“You weren't supposed to find out,” Haruhi said dejectedly.

“Why is my little girl hiding this from her daddy?” Tamaki wailed.

“Because it's private. An indulgence. A guilty pleasure.” 

“It's not anything to be ashamed about, Haru-chan,” Honey piped up from his seat.

“I'm not ashamed, I just liked having one thing that was all my own. No offense, but you all have ingratiated yourselves into just about every nook and cranny of my life.”

The twins looked at each other smugly.

“Well, not every,” Hikaru said huskily as he slithered up to her side.

Tamaki jumped twelve feet in the air and landed in between them.

“Nobody gets to talk about daddy's precious little girl's nooks and crannies! She shouldn't even know about them!”

“Oh, she's aware of them. Trust me. I've got quite the extensive collection of her awareness,” Kyoya said with his trademark smirk.

Haruhi shot an icy, death glare to Kyoya who just gestured to the USB.

“How much do you want for the audio files of these discoveries?” Kaoru and Hikaru asked, clearly beside themselves with all fresh ideas of mischief running through their minds.

A chorus of voices and a familiar grunt echoed his sentiment. Except for Tamaki, he was curled up in the fetal position and growing an ungodly amount of mushrooms. Haruhi tried sinking out of her chair and onto the floor, but was firmly held in place by four identical hands.

“It depends on which recording you want. I'll accept no less than ¥100,000 for each.”

Haruhi squeaked. The twins shared another mischievous look. Tamaki manifested into a mushroom.

“Well look at the time! It appears as though it's time for us to be heading home,” Kyoya said, suddenly disinterested in the conversation. 

Knowing that voicing disagreement was futile with the Shadow King, everyone filed out of the music room and into their respective vehicles.

Kyoya grabbed Haruhi by the arm. He leaned down, lips ghosting the shell of her ear.

“Don't worry. I keep the dirty ones for my personal collection,” he whispered.

She gasped as he guided her into the car. He slid into the seat next to her, thighs touching as he wrapped an arm around her waist and crossed his other across her body to hold her securely in place. He dropped light kisses on her cheek and just under her earlobe.

Trying to control her shudder, she turned to him and whispered, “I'm going to need copies of the ones from your private collection for my private collection.”

“Can you afford it? I wouldn't part with them for less than ¥500,000.”

She looked up at him through her lashes and began playing with the knot in his uniform tie. “Is the offer to pay with my body still on the table?” 

“That buys you five recordings and a romantic weekend getaway to Okinawa.”

“Just that? I would think you of all people would know just how much fucking me is worth. To think, I was going to let you do that thing you've been asking me to do, too. I guess you'll just have to wait for your birthday like a good boy-”

Growling, Kyoya rested his lips on her ear and said, “You're the only one who can bring me to my knees, you know that?”

“If I remember correctly, you still bend to your father's will. So I'm really the second.”

“You really know how to kill a boner.”

Relaxing his hold on a giggling Haruhi, he took two waters from the mini fridge in the back of the limo, twisted the cap off, and handed one to her. 

“In all honesty, why didn't I know about your love for Pokémon?”

“My mom and I used to watch it before she died so it makes me feel close to her. Sometimes I'll even make her a cup of tea when I watch it. It just holds precious memories that I get to relive for thirty minutes at a time.”

Kyoya fiddled with the label on his water bottle. He never knew quite how to respond to Haruhi when she talked about her mom. He didn't have long to sit in his awkwardness as his large hand was captured in her small one.

“I'm sorry. I know you feel awkward when I talk about my mom. That's why I've never brought it up.” 

Turning his hand in hers, he lifted it to his mouth and placed a gentle kiss to her knuckles.

“Please, never apologize for talking about your mother. I'm honored you felt comfortable enough to share this with me. If I may be so bold as to ask, may I have a precious Pokémon memory with you?”

Haruhi looked at him. Part of her screamed, No! This is mine and my mother's. I don't want to share it with anyone else! Another part of her was begging to let someone into this part of her life. Lacing her fingers with his, she replied, “I would love that, but it isn't on tonight and my VHS tapes were destroyed because I watched them so much.”

With a conniving grin, Kyoya pressed the intercom button for the driver and said, “Tachibana, please take us to Azure 45 and then Akihabara.”

“As you wish, Ootori-sama.”

Kyoya clicked the button off and turned to look at his lady. 

“Please don't. I can't afford anything there and I need to start making dinner soon.”

Pulling out his phone, Kyoya opened a delivery app and ordered food to be sent to her home in time for her father's arrival from work. “Already taken care of, Haruhi. As far as the restaurant and Akihabara, this is my treat. I want to do this for you.” 

Haruhi's cheeks blushed profusely. “I guess I could find something as an offering for my prayers.”

“That's my girl.” He fired off a quick text and placed his phone back in his pocket.

After dinner concluded, the pair walked to Akihabara, Tachibana following far enough away to give them privacy, but close enough to intervene if anything happened. They walked into the store and Kyoya looked at Haruhi's face. It was bright and full of wonder. 

“Have you never been here before?” Kyoya asked, drawing her close to him.

“Does Google Maps count?” she asked, transfixed on the sensory overload around her.

“Not quite, but you tried. Now go on, get whatever you want.”

Frozen in place, Haruhi had to be gently dragged through the store by Kyoya. She stopped in her tracks when she saw the Starmie merchandise. There were stickers and pencils and keychains and bookmarks and so many other things that made her heart leap.

“Is that one your favorite?” Kyoya asked.

“It was my mom’s. She said it reminded her of me because I was her little star.” She picked up one of the keychains and examined it closer.

“I want this,” she said with a soft smile.

“I have a better idea. Let's get you two. One for your offering and one for yourself so she has another way to connect to you.” Kyoya responded, picking up another one and placing it in her hand.

“They're ¥3,000 each, Kyoya. One is plenty.”

“¥3,000 is a small price to pay to make you happy and to honor your mother. It's not really any kind of price, they're practically giving these away.”

Damn rich bastards. Haruhi thought. I know it really isn't a lot of money, but it's money better spent on groceries or school supplies.

“Haruhi?” 

“Yes?”

“I thought I lost you for a second. So it's settled. Two keychains and I'm also getting you the entire series on DVD, including the movies, and specials as well as anything other media that's been released.”

“Kyoya, stop! I don't have a DVD player so you're just wasting your money. Besides, I don't need all that.”

“We'll stop and buy one on the way back. It's no problem at all. Tachibana can hook it up when we get to your apartment. Let me see your phone, I'll put my credit card information in Pokémon Go. Feel free to buy anything you need from the game.”

“Kyoya-senpai! Stop! I can't let you do this. I agreed to one keychain and now you've roped me into two. You're not getting your hands on my phone. You've done more than enough.”

Kyoya looked at her, trying to mask the hurt in his eyes, but failed miserably.

“I just want you to be happy. You said it reminds you of a happy time with your mom and when I saw your smile, I decided I wasn't going to let it fade. I'm sorry.”

He took a step back and bowed deeply to her. Tachibana moving to cover the bowing Ootori from the public eye.

“Hey, look at me. Kyoya, look at me,” she pulled him out of his bow and drew him closer to her, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Just coming here is a dream come true for me. I'm always going to remember this fondly and smile just thinking about it. You know why? Because someone who cares deeply for me brought me here. It's actually quite intimate if you think about it.” 

He brought his eyes to meet hers and smiled.

“Commoners are so simple. It's intriguing.”

She smiled as he led her to the checkout.

The next morning, Haruhi woke up and got dressed for school. After doing a once over in the mirror, she went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast and her bento. The only issue is that she couldn't see down the hall to the kitchen. There were boxes blocking the path.

Dad must be purging his closet again. She chuckled softly to herself and pushed her way through. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the sight before her. 

Dad definitely did not purge his closet, but I'm about to purge my friends. The only thing keeping her from yelling and rampaging was her father asleep on the couch clutching a stuffed Bulbasaur and draped in a Pikachu blanket, his head resting on a Zekrom pillow.

She noticed a note lying on the table. It read:

Just because you said I couldn't buy the Pokémon series for you, doesn't mean the others couldn't. Anything else was totally their idea...mostly.

Seething with anger, she retreated to the kitchen to prepare her meals, leaving an extra portion ready for her father. She finished her breakfast and packed her bento. She fished her keychain out of her pocket and went to the altar to pray before leaving for school.

After lighting the incense, she placed the keychain in front of her mother's picture and began to pray.

“Good morning, mom. Thank you for watching over me while I slept. Please keep me safe during school today. I know my friends are looking out for me, but they're upsetting me. They care about me a lot and have introduced me to things I would never have been able to experience in life, but they also seem to forget that I don't require much to be happy. Like last night, Kyoya took me to Akihabara after I told him how we used to watch Pokémon together. I said I would just get something for you, but he convinced me to get two keychains. His reasoning was solid, but then he tried to buy me all sorts of other things too. I yelled at him and then we paid and left. This morning, I come out and there is Pokémon everywhere. Honestly, it looks like Akihabara threw up in here. I'm flattered, but I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of them. They all know I'm not, but their families rely so much on perception and I don't want to make enemies of the people who can make or break my future. I wish you were here, mom. I'm sure you would know what to do. I've got to get to school now, but I love you and I will talk to you soon.”

Standing up and straightening out her uniform, she walked out the door. Unsurprisingly, there was a limo waiting with Tachibana dutifully standing by the back door. Greeting her with a bow, he opened the door and helped her in the car. 

Not looking at the vehicle's occupants, she fastened her seatbelt and turned around to give Kyoya a kiss. Only it wasn't Kyoya. She was greeted with a grunt that could only belong to Mori.

“You owe me ¥10,000, Hikachu,” Kaoru said gleefully. 

“Why?” Haruhi whined and put her head in her hands.

Just then, the door opened again and Kyoya got in. “Sorry guys, I had to take that call. The stock of one of the companies I am trying to buy plummeted overnight and I had to get out,” looking at Haruhi, he glared at the twins who were passing money between them, “It's too early for your shit, you two. What did you do?”

“They made my daughter kiss Mori!” Tamari screeched.

“Ugh, it's also too early in the morning for your goddamn wailing, Suoh.”

“I wasn't paying attention because I didn't know you were having guests and thinking Mori was you, I kissed him. The twins had a bet on it and then Kaoru called Hikaru, 'Hikachu’ to get a rise out of me and it worked.”

“You sound upset, Haru-chan. Do you want some cake?” Honey asked, trying to ease the tension.

“I swear to all of the gods, Mitskuni, if you leave crumbs and stains all over the seats again, all your martial arts knowledge will be useless,” Kyoya said, trying to remain cool and detached.

Honey started crying and crawled into Mori's lap. “Takashi! Kyo-chan is being mean!” The taller man just grunted in response.

“Kyoya, calm down. There's bigger fish to fry right now,” Haruhi said gently. She took his hand in his and used her other to rub his pulse point on his wrist.

“Ah yes, if everything went according to plan, you probably woke up to a living room in disarray,” he responded.

“So about that. Take it back. We talked about this,” Haruhi chided.

“No can do,” Hikaru and Kaoru pulled a box out from between them and continued, “The tags fell off.”

“Fell or cut?”

“Does it really matter?” Hikaru asked.

“I guess not now, you damn rich bastards.”

“I figured as much. There's one more thing. One is for you and the other is for Kyoya,” Kaoru said as he handed the bags to the couple.

Haruhi nervously pulled the tissue paper out of the bag and look at it's contents, or lack thereof. She looked at Kyoya and then in his bag, which he strategically placed over the growing bulge in his pants.

“I'm going to kill you both right here, right now,” Haruhi fumed. She started towards the twins but was held back by Mori and Honey. She was stronger than she looked, but still no match for them.

“The third demon has awoken!” the twins laughed and cried out.

“What is it?” Tamaki asked.

“See for yourself!” she exclaimed as she threw the bag across the car.

Looking in the bag and seeing the skimpy Pokémon lingerie, he promptly turned into a mushroom again.

“They're a set. We designed them in exchange for Kyoya's recordings,” Kauro began.

“Custom Hitachiin clothing is in high demand and when you know how to market to the right people, you can turn quite a profit,” Hikaru finished.

“And Kyoya’s Pikachu tail underwear with the little sleeve in the front, that’s just what exactly?”

“Haruhi, I resent the use of the word, ‘little’. I haven’t heard you complain yet, but I’ll have to review my extra personal collection of recordings to be certain,” Kyoya announced.

Hikaru and Kaoru nearly jumped out of their seats, “THEN WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GIVE US?” they said together.

“Just some odds and ends I had laying around. There’s Haruhi talking about her acne, a wondrous rendition of her humming the Ouran alma mater, a practice run of her speech for debate, and I think I threw in her onigiri recipe. There is also one of her moaning, but once you learn that was from when she stubbed her toe on one of the cabana chairs by my family’s pool the weekend we were there alone, the novelty of it wears off.”

“How were you recording? There was literally nothing out there that could be a recording device!” she exclaimed, paying no mind to the drooling adolescents staring at her like a lion would a gazelle.

“Ootori family secrets. That weekend is where I got most of my most prized recordings and where you discovered the joys of-”

“Kyoya, if you value your Ootori family secrets, you’ll not be saying anything further,” Haruhi deadpanned to her boyfriend.

Turning to the rest of the Host Club, she muttered under her breath, “Just so you know, I hate all of you.”

“No you don't,” the Host Club said in unison, Kyoya pressing a light, sweet kiss to her temple.


End file.
